I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
