everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize