North Korea, Best Korea!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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