i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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