Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
