Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
