I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
