Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
