its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
