Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
