I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't tell me you're on acid again
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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