wanna go halves on a baby?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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