I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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