I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
