with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Someone signed my nipple.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
