So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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