you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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