Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
