hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
