Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
