idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
