who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
