insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.