Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?