We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
