i just had sex bonerless
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I agree and I would be an awesome dog