Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.