he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.