i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
