Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
