this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So vagazzling was a success
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
