Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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