It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
