i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We need to rekindle our bromance
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
