From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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