PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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