my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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