I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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