Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
