I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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