How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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