just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
