Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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