You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
