You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
