Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
