he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize