As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
