So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
