on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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