They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
