The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
