Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
