dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
