why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
