great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
