My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
