a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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