Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
