What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
