You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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