he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize