Can Purell be used as lube?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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