so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
