Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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