I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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