My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't turn off my feet"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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