I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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